Starting the Year with Caregiver Self-Compassion

Welcome to the New Year! How did you celebrate? Did you spend it surrounded by friends and family, or perhaps you had a quiet evening at home like me? My evening was peaceful and reflective—exactly what I needed. As I sat with my thoughts, I reflected on the past year: What went well? What didn’t? And most importantly, what do I want to do differently this year? The answer came to me clearly: self-compassion.

As caregivers, we often prioritize everyone else and leave ourselves running on empty. We convince ourselves that asking for a break is selfish or that tending to our own needs means we’re failing. The guilt can be overwhelming, and it keeps us trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and burnout. But what if practicing self-compassion wasn’t selfish at all? What if it’s the very thing that allows us to care for others without losing ourselves?

Why Self-Compassion is Essential for Caregivers

Let me tell you about a client of mine. She was a dedicated caregiver for her mother and also held a demanding full-time job. When her mother’s needs exceeded what she could safely manage at home, she made the difficult decision to place her mom in a care facility. The guilt was crushing.

Every evening after work, she visited her mom, often taking her out to dinner or bringing her home for a visit. These outings were emotionally exhausting, and getting her mom back into the facility was always a struggle. Her mother, a fiercely independent woman, didn’t make it easy. Night after night, my client cried herself to sleep, overwhelmed by guilt and the feeling that she was a bad daughter.

I asked her why she felt compelled to visit every single day. With tears in her eyes, she said, “What kind of daughter am I if I don’t? She’s always been there for me. How can I just leave her there?”

Together, we explored this belief and worked on reframing it. I encouraged her to try skipping one evening and see what happened. Reluctantly, she agreed. The next day, she called the facility to check in and was surprised to hear her mother had participated in a music activity and seemed happy. Gradually, she reduced her visits to a manageable schedule—two evenings during the week and one weekend brunch outing. Her mom adjusted beautifully, making friends and engaging in activities, while my client rediscovered balance in her own life.

By offering herself grace and practicing self-compassion, she reduced her stress and began to thrive. Her journey is a powerful reminder: when caregivers prioritize their own well-being, it doesn’t diminish their care—it enhances it.

Practical Techniques for Practicing Self-Compassion

If self-compassion feels like a foreign concept, you’re not alone. It’s a practice that takes time and intentionality. Here are three simple techniques to get started:

1. Journaling Prompts

• Imagine your best friend is telling you the same self-critical thoughts you often have. What would you say to them?
• For example: “You’re doing your best under challenging circumstances. Be kinder to yourself.”
• Spend five minutes a day journaling why you deserve the same kindness and understanding.

2. Positive Affirmations

• Write down a meaningful affirmation, such as: “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
• Place it somewhere visible, like your bathroom mirror or computer screen, as a daily reminder.

3. Breathing Exercise

• Use the 4-4-4 technique: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 4 seconds.
• This simple practice can ground you in moments of stress and help you recenter.

Commit to One Self-Compassionate Act

Self-compassion isn’t always easy, but it’s worth the effort. This year, commit to taking just five minutes a day to do something for yourself. It doesn’t have to be grand—sometimes the simplest acts are the most impactful.

For example, I received a foot massager for Christmas. Every evening after work, I take five uninterrupted minutes to use it. No phone, no talking—just a few moments to transition from my workday to my evening. It’s a small act, but it helps me recharge. What’s one thing you can do for yourself this week that would make a difference?

Special Announcement: 3-Day Burnout Solution Event

If you’re ready to dive deeper into practical strategies for reducing stress and reclaiming your energy, join me for my free 3-Day Burnout Solution event starting January 20, 2025. Each day, you’ll receive an email with actionable tips, and I’ll host a live session in my Facebook group at 8 PM EST. These sessions will be short and impactful—just 15-30 minutes—because I know your time is precious.

Register today by CLICKING HERE to reserve your spot. Let’s make 2025 the year you prioritize your well-being.

Closing Thoughts

Caregivers are deserving of kindness, just as much as those they care for. This year, let’s commit to showing ourselves the same grace we extend to others. Your well-being matters—not just for you, but for those who rely on you. Remember, taking care of yourself is the most compassionate gift you can give to everyone in your life, including yourself.

About the Author

Johanna is a transformation coach dedicated to helping caregivers find balance, reclaim their energy, and thrive in their journey. With years of experience working alongside caregivers of loved ones with dementia, Johanna understands the unique challenges they face. Through her compassionate coaching, workshops, and support resources, she empowers caregivers to prioritize their well-being while strengthening their connection with those they care for.

When Johanna isn’t coaching, you can find her sharing practical tips, heartwarming stories, and laughter-infused strategies to make caregiving not just manageable, but meaningful. Join her mission to embrace the joy and resilience that comes with caregiving on Facebook Dementia Caregiver Support & Wellness Group.